Couples who come to counselling are brave souls. Bearing all to a near stranger displays to me their courage, care and humility to face each other and themselves. As each couple is as unique as the individuals who have paired, how I approach their particular difficulties will be different. I always touch on their emotional dance, how they respond to each other and make explicit the pattern that has evolved between them. With deeper understanding of how this pattern has developed while attuning to your deeper emotional statements and needs, possibilities open up to respond in different ways that are more conducive to the underlying yearnings of connection being called for. For some noticing communication styles that have a destructive force makes a great difference in the tone of their relationship. The individuals love language is another way in which couples bring greater awareness to where they are ‘missing’ each other. Working in many eclectic ways on various levels in the relationship broadens the capacity of the couple to move in ways which are freeing and loving at the same time.
Published by New Pathways Counselling and Support
Urja Refalo is a counsellor and Gestalt psychotherapist seeing individuals, couples, older adolescents in the Coffs Harbour area of NSW. She is also available for skype or phone consults. Urja works with people who want change in their lives and their relationships. Some of the problems she works with are depression, anxiety, grief & loss, times of transition, trauma, confusion, crisis, lack of confidence, stress, relationship distress, conflict and enrichment as well as personal growth. Urja also see clients under the NDIS scheme. Urja sees the counselling and therapeutic process as one that is transformative, as the capacity to make creative and fulfilling choices increases through a deeper understanding of self and a growing awareness of one’s own resources. Feelings of stuckness dissolve and a greater sense of confidence in one’s ability to meet life's challenges grow in a fundamental and vital way. View all posts by New Pathways Counselling and Support